if you say your life is hard .. then look at mine!

ok, I'll help, okay, I keep my secret, ok I'll help even more. But please do not ruin it .... : s
I'm not fine, I feel truly dead, I do not want to suffer, but still a black hole without a bottom, I got really scared, but I'm all alone ....
what I feel nothing or no one you planned to, I'm quite tired of suffering, I say I'm fine, but how is it possible to be well ... I'm completely lost. I just want to cry or even kill me but just do not do it because this will happen to me many more times ...
yes, suicide is bad it is sad and cruel but it is the best way ....
why do you love one another and think that it is hard? at least they love each other. have seen that I have no one to love me? already thought pence in the handle of my life? I'm completely fed up!
I'm not lying, I'm completely DEAD.